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It?s interesting how in life certain phrases come up that are actually quite profound when you stop and think about it. ?Don?t take this personally and It?s business, not personal,? are both fairly common things you might hear. In his book, The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz also points this out as the second agreement: Don?t take anything personally.
It?s important to remember that nothing others do is because of you. What they say and do is merely a projection of their own reality or their own dream. As you begin to become immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won?t find yourself being a victim of needless suffering.
Certainly this is not an easy process. We all have years of conditioning for being hurt by what others say or do. Each of us have allowed the other person?s opinion to become our own belief about ourselves. When we assume their opinion to be true, we end up having an emotional reaction to something that has now become our belief. ?Just this week at work, one of my patients told me that when she was a little girl, her friends and family used to label her as the girl who should be in a plastic bubble because she was often clumsy and accident prone. Nearly 20 years later, this same girl has accidents and falls on a regular basis. Her personal affect revolves around being a victim influenced by external forces. I wonder if part of the issue is that she has taken an opinion from years ago and made it her belief and her on-going reality??Over time, we all have a tendency to also take our own opinions and self-judgements personally. But the fact is, these judgements are nothing more than assumptions that we get into the habit of taking.
So how do we stop taking things personally after so many years of conditioning? Well, first, it doesn?t happen overnight. It happens by being consistently and consciously aware and taking on an observer perspective. With time, we begin to observe the opinions, but we don?t cling or attach to them. Will you get it right every time? Of course not, but increasing the awareness a little each day will help you develop new patterns and beliefs about yourself.
The second part that is important to remember is tapping into your true inner being. This is the part we often minimize because of the conditioning mentioned earlier. However, this is the sacred place in which each of us is wonderfully knitted together with unique gifts and talents. This is the space where we all can connect to a creator who has infused our DNA with his characteristics of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness. As we increase our awareness to this powerful connection, we then can begin to break the conditioning of relying on the opinion of others to define us.
This week, begin to observe when and how you attach to the opinions others say about you. Take a step back to breathe and recognize that their opinion is simply a projection of their reality, not yours. How will this change your day? How will this small but powerful shift in perspective impact you being you?
Traci Vincent
Source: http://blog.morningcoach.com/2012/09/02/dont-take-it-personal/
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